I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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