so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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