Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
