I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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