that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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