the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
