How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
