He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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