Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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