His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize