We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
