Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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