Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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