how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
