I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
