How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
