areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize