Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
