do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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