I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
