smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
