Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
