I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
