there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
