she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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