Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
