Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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