I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
