was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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