ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
