My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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