yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
