none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
