We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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