I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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