i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
