she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize