I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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