WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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