Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
