He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize