Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
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