Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
