i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
