dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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