a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize