The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
