Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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