id be glad to
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
