He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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