If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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