If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
