This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
