she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize