But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
