one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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