at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
