Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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