yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
