My hair reeks of homosexuality.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
